They usually had a communal bed back then where everyone slepped on the same family bed together… Kids, gramma, sister and her boyfriend going at it, the wife and the husband going at it.
Very biblical.
What should be controversial is pretending a goat shepherds religious book from the bronze age should have any kind of authority in the 21st century.
I mean, if the goat shepherds have some strong moral positions, I don’t see why they’d be disqualified. Ethics isn’t something we invented in the 21st century, ffs. Bronze Age humans had as much a claim to it as anyone. Just ask Socrates or Confucius or Nezahualcóyotl.
Given the current state of the 21st century political scene, I’m not bending over to give modern day philosophers extra credit. Say what you will about Thomas Aquinas, he doesn’t appear anywhere in the Epstein flight logs. That’s more than Noam Chomsky or Peter Mandelson can claim.
Stanzi is fucking hilarious.
Society changed a lot since Biblical times. They didn’t “live together” in the same house, but these people certainly “lived together” in the same street or village before getting married. People didn’t really have a lot of “home life” like we do now, they’d be out in the fields, or cooking in front of their home. So they’d see each other’s home life and it’s more “getting a house for themselves” than a big change in privacy or contact hours.
It isn’t accurate anyway, the Bible certainly supports living together with people while not married in certain situations, for example with (sex) slaves.
Every time I hear the word bible and fact in the same sentence the church bells start ringing in my head.
Equally controversial fact:
I am not obliged by law or morality to follow what is written in your fucking book either way.
My version: I don’t fucking care what your dumb book says.
I used to always reply with “i’m Jewish”. They gear clashed like fucking crazy. It was hilarious.
Now i’m done even vaguely entertaining these shitheels
i used to use “i’m pagan” and watch the sparks fly but that’s gonna get me killed one of these days
I’m kinda blunt, and gigantic. I tell anyone trying to lecture me about religion that I’m member of the satanic temple. Which isn’t a complete lie as I do donate monthly to my local one.
being a church musician (half of the band is atheist, as is the pastor but that’s like half of all pastors i’ve ever met) offers remarkably nice cover given that statesia is leaning gilead right now
i used to use “i’m pagan”
Oh cool, I’m also a Catholic.
I can’t read
she cracks me up. hilarious skit work.
What does it say about women speaking again?
I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.”
Pfffffnthe first friggin disciple was Mary
and the first witness of the risen jesus. paul can go get some ribs removed
Paul never even met Jesus. He had a vision that Jesus wanted him to be a disciple.
Try having a vision that you are a billionaire CEO of some big Wall Street company and see how far that will take you?
was i in the k-hole for the vision, because…
Paul probably didn’t write that paragraph of verses. It was most likely added by someone else along the way.
To your point of people wanting to take only portions of the Bible literally and ignore others, there are TONS of things that the old testament says to do that we don’t do every day.
Christians on old testament laws:
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prohibition on eating pork: god actually didn’t mean we should stop eating pork. It was an accident bro.
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prohibition on vaguely sexual acts without clear translation: this is the word of god, how dare these people exist
I’m not defending Christianity, but the actual defense of pork is that Jesus had made pork clean, in a vision to Peter where the analogy was that Jesus also made non Jewish people clean, since mixing with them was also forbidden. So less accident, more amendment.
They would also claim (from my experience in a cult anyway) that the old laws were necessary at the time they were given, but by the time Jesus came he could revise them as they were more ready.
If we look at it from a secular viewpoint, badly cooked pork probably caused a bunch of illness to was banned, and by the time Jesus supposedly existed people had learned to cook it more safely.
If only they took jesus’ thousands of negative views on the wealthy as seriously as they take his one revision to pork law.
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A whole lot of the bible wasn’t written by Paul. Doesn’t mean its not part of the bible.
That sounds like a very feminine opinion
Nah, I can see Paul saying that, I just cannot see Jesus (who was openly kissing women like men kissed men and basically publicly recognising them as equals! The horror, lol) saying that. 🤷
Would you mind telling me which verse tells us jesus kissed women in greeting?
Nowhere, actually, I must have hallucinated it (?!). Perhaps in some apocryphal gospel? Religious fiction? Sorry for spreading misinformation, I really thought I read it.
I’d have to go look but I think that was in the gospel of Philip. Apocryphal, but interesting.
Awesome, thanks for checking. It didn’t sound familiar.
Didn’t Mary and Joseph live together before they were married?
It was acceptable because Mary could do sick ollies at the half pipe
No, they just had a baby in a cave together and claimed it was a virgin birth.
Seriously though, I thought they were married?
That’s right and then the virgin Jesus rose from the dead in a manger and they rolled away the lamb of god
I feel like if they were married it would have been expected that mary wasn’t a virgin
They get married at some point after jesus is conceived, and have other children (opinion varies, catholics maintain that Mary remained a virgin)
have other children…catholics maintain that Mary remained a virgin
Joe be like “You’re pregnant AGAIN! And I suppose GOD is the father AGAIN, right?” {Walks away, muttering angrily “…while I’m getting NOTHING…”}
So Jesus was a bastard?
Did you think Mary and god were married before today?
They got married today?
Oh no, married has been got?!
I get the feeling most Christians seem to think so.
Just Biff
I did a quick look, but tbh I would need to know more about ancient judaic wedding practices.
Here goes: in Gospel by Luke, when Mary gets the announcement, they are betrothed (fiancée).
In Gospel by Matthew, Joseph hears of this and wants to cancel the betrothement, but gets an explanation by an angel and “takes her in” but doesn’t sleep with her until after Jesus is born.
In Gospel by Luke, when they arrive in Bethlehem, they’re called betrothed. So I don’t know how official and extensive the “taking in” is to be seen.Anyways, look what I found in the Song of Mary:
He performs mighty deeds with his arm; he scatters those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He brings down rulers from their thrones but lifts up the humble.
He fills the hungry with good things but sends the rich away empty.luke 2 verse 5 in the king james version i grew up with:
To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child
luke 1 verses 26 and 27
And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth,
To a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary.
now i always took that espoused in context to mean betrothed, not married. although i was never 100% up on marriage customs of the time. they had a formal relationship, were planning on being married, she claims she was a virgin and she was very pregnant. that’s what i got.
Which is very unclear considering it is a translation. Besides is it ever mentioned they lived together. They travel together to pay taxes yes
In Gospel by Matthew, Joseph hears of this and wants to cancel the betrothement, but gets an explanation by an angel and “takes her in” but doesn’t sleep with her until after Jesus is born.
That’s the interesting one, where she turns up pregnant, and Joe is pissed because he hasn’t slept with her, and he wants nothing to do with this slut, but some “angel” shows up, who looks like he could be one of her uncles or something, and explains how it’s not her fault, and Joe is going to “do the right thing, capisce?” and Joe agrees, but he still thinks she’s still a slut.
Good story, bro.
Sounds like He needs to get back to work.
Did God marry Mary, before he knocked her up?
No, but in his defense, neither did he live with her.
Incorrect. He lives inside all of us! HE’S INSIDE OF YOU RIGHT NOW!!
I hope y’all’s god likes pörkölt because that’s what she’s getting
I didn’t consent to this!
UwU Jesus Christ
Some really unfortunate power dynamics in that relationship.
Problematic
Dysfunctional
Thou shalt boof but not before 3 days after the sabbath. So it is written
Outside the Ten Commandments (supposedly), the Bible was written entirely by fallible humans - these assholes keep forgetting that part & act like it’s 100% perfect (which we know it’s not simply by its own self-contradictions).
It is also important to not forget about how the Bible was formed.
What we know as the Bible is a collection of books, selected by a committee during a conclave centuries ago.
Any decision made by humans in power and influence will inevitably be favoring their own goals and politics.
There are plenty of other Christian texts that were excluded, how would they have changed Christianity if they were included?
Also an awful lot of it is about being submissive and letting people take advantage of you. At least based off what I see getting quoted all the time. Weird how it’s always people who’re trying to control you quoting it.
They left out the good shit. The Apocalypse of Peter preaching universal salvation and the Enoch books with all the cool stuff in them.
The Gospel of Thomas has stories of Jesus being a little shithead as a kid, performing miracles just to freak everybody out. He even killed a kid once, but brought him back to life when the whole neighborhood got pissed and threatened to kick Joe’s ass.
The Ten Commandments, famous for being identical and consistent across varying versions of religious scripture and sections within the same!
Excuse me but old baldy Elisha successfully cast summon shebear swarm and I posit any being able to summon and command not just a shebear but a swarm of shebears just might be infallible
That’s a screenplay right there.
A whole movie about a woman who commands a gang of angry she-bears? Oh, yeah, I’d watch that.
starts off with an old man putting on a robe and a wizard hat and squaring off against a shebear. “YOU WILL OBEY ME” and then there’s no more old man. just robe and wizard hat
Also somehow the King James version is authoritative, after who knows how many links of translation phone games?
There are so many books. It is strange that this one gets so much attention.
Controversial fact: Gondor does in fact call for aid.
We mustn’t answer the call!
Not until we’re married, anyway.
But it’s a Good Book don’t ya know! If you just read one book it should be a Good Book.
Unexpected Tim Minchin
The Bible is very contradictory because it’s a collection of books written throughout millennia, usually with prophets saying A and judges and scholars saying B (and people usually following B).
And I see Stanzi is on her Madonna-styled Trinitarian rebellion, lol. I love her content, hopefully she’s not doing too many bumps!
