PHYREXIA MINNESOTA** – **Americans are up in arms today after an Immigration and Customs Enforcement officer fatally shot a Magic player who had nothing but an untapped Mountain on their person.

According to officials, the kinda sorta law enforcement agent heroically murdered the hellbent player in cold blood because he had a thing that could maybe do something at some point potentially.

  • iatenine@piefed.social
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    12 days ago

    said offending snow-covered Gestapo officer Shipdit

    Shipdit, who dropped out of high school before they covered German history

    This article has clauses that go harder than most parody today

    I haven’t seen jokes stacked like this since Bojack wrapped