The Secretary of Health and Human Services, probably.

And then I was all like “thou shalt NOT!”, but get this, a few thousand years later these fuckers on the ninth planet from their star thought they could be all sneaky and shit…

3

The gun is good!

if you can’t handle garlic and onion.

At that point I’d consider violating the terms of service.

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Four QPs.

Nope, in this one Sarah Michelle Gellar is a brunette!

Cruel Intentions

The best of many modern retellings of the old French epistolary Dangerous Liasons.

They forgot the fingers!

Motherfuckers going a decade without a rimjob? Must be married.

Chocolate popcorn

You have been banned for wrongthink.

Not if you blindfold it and put it in a chokehold.

I went out on a date with your mom, a bit late, she had so many friends

I brought my pogo stick just to show her a trick, she had so many friends

Do it, baby!

I don’t think they’re talking about the comparative sizes of the groups.

When this is over

the 1st Amendment

I wish I shared your optimism

My hand reaching into yer mum