Twice in the past few years someone has gotten into my car and emptied my loose change container. Thankfully they didn’t mess with anything else. I just told myself they must need it more than I do.

A parasitic fungus that infects the brains of people and controls them to help propagate itself.

This is actually a really good one.

Check out local dealer’s websites they often try to compete to keep their Internet listings lower than the “other guys”.

Trust me, in 6 months your tune will change when they make you submit that form again to prove that you’re still broke. It’s such a tedious process that often gets fucked up by the office after you turn it in, you’ll feel like you deserve even MORE than they’ll give you.

Being that cute should be illegal.

I always just hang on to them in case somebody breaks or loses theirs.

By the way, I’m all out of old phones and my son’s is busted, so if you don’t know anyone who could use it…

What did you call me?!?

I have two handwritings. The sloppy jot it down, and the somebody has to read this.

Slow down and “draw” your letters. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but take your time and it will improve.

What magazine is this from? Sounds like it’s out of a Hustler or something.

I can’t describe it, but I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Whelp, guess I’ll die.

Really, your probably still getting plenty of information without all the stress.

Could be regional, but I hear it quite often.

There are some instances where it feels more correct to say US, but for everyday use I probably say America more.

Our own mortality.

Seems like you’ve combined two ideas for no reason.

I can agree with “focus on one thing, miss the rest” but I don’t think it’s inherently human. If one of my cats has found something to stalk, they become hyper focused and pretty much oblivious to anything else happening around them. Other animals’ ears will perk up as they try to find the source of a sound and determine if it is predator or prey.

We’re certainly smarter than other animals, but is it really because of focus or just more mental ability?

Got my vote!

It might not really be in the spirit of the post, but it’s because of the brain. They take a lot of power to fuel, so to keep that big brain running, we have to skimp on things like mobility. Babies can be pretty dumb, but, they’ve been learning a LOT. They just can’t tell you about it yet, but they will soon, because unlike the pig, they are listening and they are learning.

They say it’s the opposable thumb that sets us apart, but no, it’s the butt cheeks.

People don’t randomly assign you to a stereotype. They based it off of your appearance and actions.

If you want to be seen as someone else, you need to act like that instead.