Cross-posted from “What do I do?” by @relation_anon4238@thelemmy.club in !lesbians@lemmy.blahaj.zone

So my girlfriend “Lily” hasn’t texted me in over a week. I can tell she is alright and receiving my messages, as it says she has read them, but she won’t respond, even if I send something romantic like “I love you” or just say something like “let me know when you can hang out”.

Lily is usually busy and will text me “Sorry can’t talk right now” and that will be the end of our conversation. My friends, however, said that this is suspicious and means she doesn’t WANT to talk because if she couldn’t talk right NOW she would at least answer later instead of just reading it. ’ I have no idea, it’s been a week and I haven’t heard from her.

  • TootSweet@lemmy.worldEnglish
    6·
    4 months ago

    A whole lot depends on Lily’s personality and the dynamic between the two of you. I’m not a woman nor in a romantic relationship, but if I were not responding to texts from friends, it would probably be because I was feeling overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, or otherwise just not terribly social.

    If that’s what’s up with Lily, I’d say text less. And when you do text, go out of your way not to make demands (including demands to respond). No “let me know when you can hang out”. Try more along the lines of “saw this and thought of you” or “<mutual friend> says ‘hi’” or “I saw <movie> and wondered what you’d think of it; we can compare thoughts some time.” “I love you” is probably good so long as it comes without agendas or requirements. In general, make peace with the fact that she gets to communicate, hang out, or most particularly refrain from doing so as she wishes for as long as she wishes. Whatever you do, you won’t be able to make her be social with you. And trying will backfire.

    And again, this might not be what’s up with you and Lily at all. But see whether it feels like it could be the case.

    Hopefully this is helpful. Good luck.

  • BlueLineBae@midwest.socialEnglish
    5·
    4 months ago

    What you shouldn’t do is start assuming things. It is possible that she doesn’t want to talk to you for some reason, but it’s also possible that there’s something else going on in her life at the moment. What you can do, is offer to talk. Just let her know that you’re concerned she hasn’t responded in a week and if anything is going on, you’re open to talking or lending an ear. If she doesn’t want to talk, you can give her some space. Regardless of whether this leads to the end of a relationship or not, it’s still the best you can offer in situations like these.