FOREVER*

New MAGA dog whistle just dropped.

Why does Pam Bondi look like Violet Beauregarde?

Don’t want to end up a cartoon In a cartoon graveyard

Trying?

Oh honey please. Bless your heart.

Yes. But there are women who like hockey players, and women who like men who can use a broom. There is little overlap.

Put it this way, if you had to choose MFK between a homemaker, a hockey player, and an Olympic curler…I think I know which will get which.

It’s not his fault Curling just isn’t as sexy as it sounds.

Alec can do all that with enough makeup and/or letting himself go.

Or even body suits and CGI. Remember The Nutty Professor with Eddie Murphie? Imagine what we could do with today’s technology!

He knew from a young age that he would grow up to be a comic book villain.

Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?

Sorry…I don’t pay very close attention to the sexuality of strangers. These three have been been, overall, big LGBT activists though.

Oh I totally forgot about Brandi Carlile. Tbh I’m rather unfamiliar with her and her work, let alone her sexuality.

And someone corrected me on Billy actually being bisexual. I updated my comment to reflect the corrections.

Every single one of those footballers should’ve taken a knee on Sunday. Most shameful part of the whole damn thing (aside from the Pats offense, that is).

Everybody talking about how Billy should’ve said something. He said enough with his set list, and really this wasn’t a political setting at all, it was honoring some of footballs greatest players. Stealing from their spotlight.

Now, if they called him up to do the American Anthem, sure. I’d love to see that.

For that matter, I’d say that the NFL had a hell of a message just calling up Green Day and Bad Bunny. I think that’s pretty big, at least for the NFL.

There were two openly gay performers at the Superbowl (Brandi Carlile, and Ricky Martin), and two openly bisexual (Bill, and Gaga). I don’t think that’s ever happened.

(Edited last paragraph to reflect corrections in LGBT performers)

Can Alec Baldwin please play Trump in every movie that hopefully ever gets made to satirize this shitshow of an administration?

Man.

I’d actually expect canned laughter to follow him around. No matter how serious the film.

This is, like, Farley Brothers levels of insane. Waiting for Bondi to show up with her hair stuck up because she thought the cum hanging from her boyfriend’s ear was hair gel.

Tell that to Jeff Jorgensen. I swear the only reason he goes by Bezos is because otherwise the Lex Luther parallels are too on the nose.

Can’t have a bald, ultra-wealthy villain that also has an alliterative name.

Whose gonna save us? Barry Bonds? Willy Wonka? Hugh Heffner? (Doc Brown voice:) RONALD REAGAN??? (ASAC Schrader voice:) Walter White?

Mare in English: a female horse.

Mare in Latin: Sea.

It’s a mare mare. Aka a horse sea. Not to be confused with a sea horse (a mare mare, if female).

Yep. Very easy to disenfranchise many people this way.

Particularly, anyone whose name or SAAB on their passport or birth certificate doesn’t match their photo id. Anyone who works during DMV hours and can’t take time off to renew an ID. Especially those who don’t drive (and thus don’t need a license).

So let’s see, that’s mainly women, genderqueer, and the working poor. Alright alright.

Who else?

I’m sure that a lot of the unhoused don’t have easy access to their birth certificate or passport.

Anybody who cut ties with their parents and can’t access this paperwork. So no strong family values.

Oh yeah. The millions of Americans who can’t even dream of leaving the country who never even got a passport in the first place.

How is this not a poll tax?

And I’m gonna guess that this is going to make mail in voting more difficult? Or perhaps we will have to verify our ID with an app, this getting all of our info while also removing anonymity from voting, at a time when one party is not just hostile, but downright violent towards members of the other.

How about this…the republicans get to have a poll tax if the Democrats get to have a literacy test. If we are gonna make voting harder, lets make it harder for both sides. Deal?

Obviously that’s quite tongue in cheek.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to read Project Hail Mary, preferably before seeing the movie.

Same author. Great book. Worried about the film adaptation.

Does your blood center not test iron before taking a donation?

Every time I’ve donated, they took a lancet to one of my fingers for a drop of blood and checked how fast it sank in some sort of liquid.

Every regulation is written in blood, or other bodily fluids.

Here’s the thing: When you don’t vote, you COULD be saying that both candidates are cannibalistic racist pedophile human traffickers, and you don’t like either of them…

Of you could be saying that both candidates are great, and you love both of them. That you’re sure either of them will do an equally good job of running the country, so it doesn’t matter who wins.

And if you don’t feel that way, then you need to VOTE